I was sitting at the gym after working out about two months ago. My routine was pretty simple: exercise if I was feeling good, shower, and then blog. However, I’ve had so many health issues that honestly it was becoming: go to the gym to blog.
The guy that signed me up for the gym walked by and said “do you ever stop working?” and that’s when I realized something kind of big. My limited time for self-care as a Mom, two hours a day, I had almost completely turned into a job.
Fabulous.
I vowed to spend more time being mindful of my body and my needs and work less; I also noticed that it didn’t really impact my ad income much so I decided to enjoy the time!
Ever since kindly being reprimanded (because let’s be honest, I wasn’t using my gym time in a balanced way), I’ve been using my two hours of gym time to run laps in the pool (I’m not the best swimmer), go in the hot tub (which has done amazing things for my back pain and joint inflammation), and then just shower and read. It has been really great for me.
In which sleep deprivation became too much…
I decided to give myself the time to see how much I could blog and it ended up being one post. Devin ended up traveling for a week where kiddo started waking up every two to three hours. E has never been a great napper and I literally was feeling like trash.
I decided when Devin came back from California, we were going to sleep train once our baby turned 6 months (happy half birthday girl, I give you the gift of sleep). After a week that kind of stunk for everyone involved, baby is sleep trained. Her thirty minute cat naps that she took about three times a day turned into two longer naps; we lay down and snuggle every afternoon while I read a little bit and then take a short nap next to her. I love it.
Sleep training has been a game changer.
Now instead of me crawling into bed early every night starving for sleep, I sleep at night. I get a nap during the day. I get some recharging time where I can just be still. In the evenings when Devin puts baby to bed, I have time for me too. My life feels more balanced and not just domestic anymore. I might sleep train earlier with our next kid.
However, I realize I need to manage my blogging expectations…
In this new season of life, some things are just going to have to change.
- I’m going to have to be okay with using cell phone photos on my blog. I have a very light weight camera, but after I have a stroller, a diaper bag, and a baby… I’m not taking my camera anywhere.
- I’m going to have to be mindful of how I feel. If I want to use my alone time to read or do something else, then I need to do that. It might mean blog posts are more sporadic.
- I am a slow writer. I am a slow photo editor. I am slow at putting together blog posts and in a season where time is less, I have less to give in this arena.
- I have to realize that since I believe in sharing more about my experience as a mother, opposed to sharing a lot about my child’s personal day to day, that I am choosing to opt out of sharing a large part of my life. I want E to have some online privacy.
In which I realize I have more competiting interests with blogging than baby…
I’ve been enjoying being the most social I have been since I lived in Utah (in 2012). I had extreme social anxiety and was so depressed in Georgia. My previous counselor had suggested us moving to the city or other places a few times. We weren’t at a place where we could do that with Devin’s job, but as soon as offers were on the table, we chose the one that felt right for our family. It meant leaving.
My first session with my counselor after we moved here, she said I looked completely different and very happy. It’s true. It has been very healing for me to just unplug and believe in humanity (and myself) again.
My positive experiences at church here gave me the confidence to go to mom groups. I started making friends quickly. When we had guests in town last week, I had people texting me with invites to more groups or meet ups and saying they missed me. I felt so loved! This area in northern Virginia is a hub for SAHMs and I feel like we bit off a little slice of heaven.
In Georgia, blogging gave me a space to share when I didn’t feel like I had a lot. In this new season of life where there are a lot of competing interests, I’m grateful to have this space where I can share even if it may be a lot less; I’m also grateful to the people who keep coming back to it.