I’ll be honest, I was shocked to realize the other day that E is no longer a newborn. Apparently, that phase is only from 0-2 months and I’ve put back a few sizes of diapers and clothes now at this point. I find myself scratching my head wondering how my baby got so big and how she ends up getting cuter as every week passes. I’ve never been a baby person and I love this little person so much. I find myself enamored with her little hands and sighs. I tell her everyday how happy we are to have her in our family and the wonderful traits I already see that she has. This process has been full of a lot of learning and I wanted to share my new Mom lessons I am learning along the way.
Motherhood isn’t as linear as I once thought.
Once I learned I was pregnant, everything honestly changed. I have a whole new level of understanding for people who were once pregnant and lost their babies. I remember how I felt when I had a bleeding scare in the middle of my own, and it completely changed how I felt about my friends who have experienced a pregnancy loss. I know many people who have not had the biological privilege of having a child, but are mothers. I learn from the women all around me regardless of their station of life and the good they bring to the table.
The constant stream of input on my kid is sometimes overwhelming.
People warned me that I would start getting that input as soon as we had a kid. I was naive and didn’t see it and then BAM. I was pregnant and I was drowning in advice.
People will text you to tell you your kid’s name is trendy, but to go with your gut. People will try to convince you that they know more about your kid’s gas than you do. Doctors will roll their eyes when your little one is sweetly asleep in their office, but you’re just wanting tips because you’re walking the halls at night wondering how to best help her.
I felt really self-conscious at first because we’re new at church and everyone had a lot of advice to give us constantly. However, one Sunday someone else’s kid began crying and I saw all of those same people turn their heads. I realized then that it wasn’t about me, it was just other mom’s being the type of mom they are; that’s totally okay.
I view myself differently.
Being a mother came much more naturally than I expected it to, but what I didn’t expect is how much pride I would feel when people told me different traits she had reminded them of me. The biggest compliment I get about this little girl is how much they love her eyes- and they’re my eyes. I only have one photo of myself prior to 5 months old due to adoption. I do wonder if we looked a lot alike then, but that’s okay.
Additionally, I love seeing my husband be a Dad. I see our marriage differently now too. We’ve seen each other at levels of exhaustion and illness (on my part) that we have never experienced. I’m impressed with what we’ve done so far and I’m grateful for the person I married.
Finger and syringe feeding is horrible.
We spent the first week of E’s life finger and syringe feeding her. I never even knew that was a thing?? She was a week and a half early and my supply hadn’t come in at all.
I thought we’d have a bottle or a breast and then we’d be good to go. We both raised our eyebrows after lactation consultant after lactation consultant came in the hospital room and put their cold hands on my breast. We also visited one multiple times after the hospital. I explained I just wanted my kid fed and I’d do whatever I needed. All of the professionals would say they just wanted that too, and then they would only give me advice that supported breast feeding.
It took a week to find a bottle that would work with E’s mouth and she lost weight. My doctors kept scheduling more and more appointments for breastfeeding consultations and I don’t think I actually received any advice that helped beyond finding a bottle that worked. Meanwhile, my lactation consultant or doctors wouldn’t even look at my health issues that were presenting because all of our appointments were figuring out breast milk even when I was telling them very painful obvious symptoms I was having non-stop.
One Doctor would say our child had a tongue tie, another Doctor would say she didn’t. We found ourselves scratching our head wondering who was correct, and decided not to give our child a surgery in the name of a surgery people couldn’t agree on. A Doctor would tell us she could lose some weight her first week because they come with some built in storage and I was just like “no.”
E eats formula and breastmilk… from a bottle. She does great. I’m fully confident she is going to be a Mom and/or rocket scientist someday; I’ll let you decide which is harder.
Babies are literally love personified.
Every minute of our everyday is consumed with our child. This came on so much more naturally than I assumed it would. When she is sleeping, I am looking at pictures of her. I miss her when I leave the house. Everyone who has met E loves her and I’m so happy about that! She is such a sweet and happy little girl. I’ve felt a different kind of love and compassion since having a baby. I imagine every person I meet now as a baby surrounded in that love, and it helps me when people are especially frustrating to think of them that way.
During the stress of finger and syringe feeding, it was hard to always find humor in situations, but we’re definitely there now. We laugh constantly at how she hams it up. I love seeing people meet her and fawn over her. I’m very proud of how she is growing and learning.
Some parts of parenting are weird.
We’ve had so many conversations about body functions. There have been times I’ve been so sleep deprived that the texts I have sent my husband that aren’t English? We’ve set up cameras to watch her while she naps which would be weird in any other environment. We make up ridiculous songs, run out of stores because of blow outs, and I have become the burp rag.
We don’t even care about all of the above. This is just us now.
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Being sick with a baby is so much worse than I could ever imagine.
I feel like this doesn’t need a lot of elaboration. I feel like there are some days when I’ve been super sick now that could have easily been the worst days of my life. I woke up covered in sweat one morning with a massive fever from an infection. I started vomiting and then my baby started crying. I honestly don’t know how I did it, but I did it. My husband couldn’t take off on a whim because he had important meetings that day.
Another day when I was very sick, my babysitter ghosted and didn’t contact me back for a few hours after I needed her. We’re new in town and I don’t know a lot of people to help or even trust to pay. I have never felt grosser in my life, and yet, my baby still had a day full of the play, meal times, and naps she needed.
I spend a lot of time listening to audio books.
Our little girl is still learning how to take naps during the day. Thankfully, she is a great sleeper at night! Her happy places for naps are in her carrier or in my arms to sleep. I want to soak it up as much as I can! I’ve been checking out a ton of audiobooks from the library and decided to pick up a (affiliate) Kindle Unlimited subscription for reading (the subscription is $10 a month and is well worth it for how I read books). I’ll call it a bonus because E is able to hear a lot of different sounds while she is sleeping and is becoming a heavier sleeper. Plus, bonus, I get to snuggle my baby while being able to read!
I wrote these lessons I’ve learned from my friends almost two years ago about motherhood. I stand by all of those statements and more now that I experience it 24/7. I feel very blessed to be able to Mom and I’m definitely still learning. However, I’m pretty sure I have a lifetime to keep figuring it out.