I read 13 books this past quarter and stopped reading one book that I listed here and a few others. I honestly just found a lot of comfort in reading/ listening to books on my phone while I was sick during my second trimester and living on our couch and bed. As usual, what I read has a pretty direct relation to things I’m trying to figure out and learn in my life and I feel pretty blessed with a voracious appetite to learn.
I would like to finish this year up with 52 books this year and I really think I’ll make it. I’ll probably be reading some children’s books in this time, but this is a goal I’ve always wanted to reach for myself and I’m excited to finally make it happen!
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What I read: biographies and memories
📚 Educated
This is a memoir written by Tara Westover about growing up in a survivalist Mormon family with extremely mentally ill family members. I found Westover’s story compelling, thoughtful, and painful to read. It was incredibly sad to see the spiritual abuse she suffered at the hands of family members and I can totally understand why she ended up leaving the church that I call home after this. I think this book is a good reminder for people to see that there is often more than meets the eye, but I was annoyed at people’s comments and reviews criticizing her for going back to family etc. Her family is extremely abusive which may be very triggering, but I think people need to be mindful too that our most primitive instincts tell us that our family has our best intentions in mind.
📚 Hillbilly Elegy
This is a memoir written by J. D. Vance about his family’s often tumultuous past and present and how he managed to find stability for himself growing up. This book was recommended to me because I grew up in Kentucky and I was discussing how people can’t understand a lot of blue collar or traditions rooted in poverty until that is the landscape they have grown up with. I found myself nodding along a lot to Vance’s description of family loyalty, honor, and dysfunction. I found Vance’s memoir readable without being pretentious. He ended up receiving a law degree from Yale and he discusses a lot of the fatigue that comes from being a trail blazer in his family without academic supports.
📚An American Princess: The Many Lives of Allene Tew
This one has been on my to-read list since I heard it related to the wealthy American/ British aristocracy connection in the early 20th century. It was really well researched, but I just couldn’t get into it. I stopped reading after like 50 pages. I think other people would enjoy it, it just wasn’t right for me at this time though, apparently.
What I read: self-help
📚 Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
This book is one of the best books I have read to help me understand emotional abuse. I highly recommend this one! The author is a therapist and shares some of her experiences, but also does a great job of explaining that abuse comes from a place of “fog” or fear, obligation, or guilt. I found this very insightful to also determine healthy or unhealthy communication styles or interactions.
📚 Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy
I picked up this book because I was intrigued about the topic, but also because it is a best selling book. Bazelon is a great story teller and immerses us in several personally researched case studies that examine bullying, the behavior around it, and also the reinforcers that keep propelling behavior forward. The book carries a good pace and never feels boring even though it is very fact-driven. She discusses what bullying is, what it isn’t, and dispels a lot of myths that are not accurate. I found insights through this book with my adult life and felt compelled by what she explained about social hierarchies and ranking.
📚 Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
This was a huge nope for me which surprised me because most people seem to really love this one. While Hollis does a great job at debunking several lies she found in her life and how she overcame them, I found her really unrelatable. My goals in life have never revolved around going to a resort that Oprah went to or having a $1000 purse. I prefer self-help books that have some research backing, but this one read more like a memoir she used to propel people forward. She does have some good insights, but I didn’t find them super original.
This is a ***spoiler***, there was a chapter I found super disturbing about her dating experience with her now husband. Everything about their relationship was extremely abusive and I wouldn’t want myself or anyone else I know to end up marrying this person. She just says it ended up working out because she stopped believing a simple lie about herself. I really hope people don’t read this and think they can “fix” someone like that to have their fairy tale; I wish she had discussed work they had done as a couple to get to where they are now. I feel like there were many times in the book where she could have offered insight into overcoming challenges she had, but she pushed them to the background to discuss more of her role as a business person.
📚 The Modern Enneagram: Discover Who You Are and Who You Can Be
I love the enneagram test! The short of it is that the enneagram is a way of helping people measure their underlying motives and how they perceive the world. For me, it has provided me a lot of grace in identifying how people are different than I am and why they are; it can be very paradigm shifting! This book was free on Kindle Unlimited and I wanted to check it out to see if I learned anything new. I didn’t learn anything new, but I highly recommend this to beginner’s trying to figure out the test and people confused by how the results line up/ what they mean. The test has become really popular recently, but I can see a lot of people don’t understand it, and I think this would be a good place to begin.
📚 You’re Not Crazy – You’re Codependent.
This book was insightful and a great start for being trying to understand codependency. I can’t relate to a lot of what it said, but it helped me understand a lot of dynamics I have seen in my life. I feel like this would be a good one to put in your toolbox if you’re having questions for yourself.
📚 Signs of Emotional Abuse: How to Recognize the Patterns of Narcissism, Manipulation, and Control in Your Love Relationship
This is a very basic book on noticing basics of emotional abuse. I have other books I’m liked a lot more. It was an easy “one sitting” book to read and I mostly skimmed it. It lists a lot of behaviors out and you can read definitions of what it looks like.
📚 Emotional Abuse Breakthrough Scripts: 107 Empowering Responses and Boundaries To Use With Your Abuser
I think this is a great script resource for creating boundaries with toxic people. It was another extremely quick read and was divided into different behaviors.
📚 Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
This book was excellent! This is another one that I would highly recommend to people. While I have not experienced spiritual abuse, this is the only book covering emotional abuse that extensively covers this topic.
What I read: dramatic adult fiction
These books all had a lot of language and brief sex scenes that were not detailed. They would all definitely be considered adult and I can’t see a teenager being interested in these.
📚 Crimes Against a Book Club
This book seriously read like a Lifetime channel movie mixed with what I assume Breaking Bad would be like. It was all kinds of crazy, dramatic, and then it also made me laugh a lot. I read a lot of heavy books this month and I was appreciative to listen to this book on tape while I was going around the house doing things.
📚 After You(Me Before You #2)
This book was just as good as the first book! I read it quickly, laughed some, cried some, and wondered when the library cue will let me have at the next one. It was interesting to see what happened with Lou after the devastating ending of the last book and it was good to finally see her thrive.
📚 Matchmaking for Beginners
Devin overheard me listening to this one and kept saying “this girl is a mess!” and would make me fill him in on what was happening haha. This book was always a little unpredictable for me, but in a great way. Lots of hippie elements and “did that seriously just happen to her?” moments. I was really glued the whole time reading.
