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I’ve never had a denim jacket until a year ago. Shocking, I know. I have a corduroy jacket that is a deep blue that has been circling in my closet since 2006, but this summer I decided I needed this basic. I was tired of wearing cardigans all of the time which makes my teacher heart gasp. I ended up finding the denim jacket I would gladly wear everyday weather permitting, but then I almost didn’t buy it because of the price. I know I’m not the only one who has buyer’s remorse for perfectly good items and I want to discuss my journey on fixing that for myself.
I used to really struggle with a sense of guilt when writing about/discussing aesthetics. I would feel bad for spending my budget on myself on things that seemed frivolous and I lumped clothing into that. I don’t know where this stemmed from, but I literally wear clothing everyday and I feel like I might as well enjoy it! Admittedly, I’ve spent a lot of my 20s feeling vain because I appreciated wearing pretty things or having a nice home.
It wasn’t until I took the enneagram motive test, and I was dubbed a 4w5, that I realized what an integral part of my personality expressing my individuality is. Naturally, I am creative, but my secondary expresses that I am analytical. I’m afraid it gets the best of me sometimes. I always used to think: “There are much more important things in life than making sure my environment is attractive to me or that my clothes fit my personality.” However, after I figured out my type, I began realizing this was just an important part of me that I should embrace instead of shame. I decided to be content with this interest I have and it has been really liberating!
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jacket // tunic: thrifted // belt: vintage // shoes
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I’m not sure how often I’ll share outfits from here on out, but I am glad that I removed the guilt I felt for just sincerely loving pretty objects; the little details in life sure do make me happy and here I was making it a punishing experience for myself! The thing is though: we all have quirky little habits like this that hold us back from experiencing true joy. Sometimes we don’t even notice them until someone else points them out and we realize we have been doing _____ for a long time.
If you have some free time, I definitely recommend taking the enneagram. The results aren’t like personality tests you have taken because it measures your core motives for going about life. It can be a little shocking at first because all of the traits about yourself aren’t neutral- some are positive and some are negative. However, they are informative! What I love about this test too is that it is easy to identify people outside of yourself to understand why there might be some differences in life approaches. You can take the test here for free.